[Englisch] Summary

[flaschenkind]

Wir müssen momentan für Englisch nen Review (Rezension) über das Buch "The Outsiders" von S.E. Hinton schreiben. Ich hab jetzt erstmal die Summary fertig geschrieben. Ich würde gerne mal wissen, was ihr davon haltet und ob ihr Verbesserungsvorschläge habt

Hier erstmal der Text:

The Outsiders summary


Ponyboy Curtis is a fourteen-year-old boy, who belongs to the Greasers, a gang of though, poor and young people. They fight against the Socs, which stands for Socials. The Socs is a gang of rich, violent people.
Ponyboy walks home from the movies. He is alone, because he likes to get lost in the movies, and no one else he knows does that. When he is almost two blocks from home he sees a red Corvair following him, full of Socs. Greasers, who are alone on the street, get beaten up by the Socs. The Socs ask him whether he needs a haircut. He gets beaten on the ground, but than the Socs runs away, because there are other Greasers coming.
This night Ponyboy wonders why the Socs hate the Greasers so much.
One Night Ponyboy goes with Dally and Johnny to the movies. They meet there two Socs girls, Sherry, who is called Cherry, and Marcia. Dally teases them and the girls get angry. Johnny told Dally to leave them alone and the girls invited them to sit with them. After the movie Two-Bit convinces Cherry and Marcia to drive them home. On the way a blue Mustang coming toward them. It is the car of Cherries boyfriend Bob. The Socs takes Cherry and Marcia with them.
That night Ponyboy and Johnny lies under the Stars und get asleep. At two o’clock Ponyboy wakes up and runs home. Darry waits for him very angrily. They yell at each other and Darry slaps Ponyboy hard. Ponyboy runs out of the house very shocked. Darry never slaps him before. He explained Johnny what happened and they decided to walk around the park once and then home. On the walk trough the Park the blue Mustang arrives, full of drunken Socs. Bob drowned Ponyboy in the Fountain and Johnny killed Bob with his switchblade. They runs to Dallas to ask him what to do. He gives them some money and a gun and told them to take the next train to a nearly city and stay in a church.
On the next morning Ponyboy finds a note of Johnny, that he is going to buy supplies for them. He has bought food, the book “Gone with the Wind” for Ponyboy and hair bleach, to disguise themselves.
The next days they read the book and talk. On the 5th day Dallas arrived and they leave the church, because it is safe. On the way back to the search they see, that the church is on fire. Ponyboy thinks, they started the fire with a light cigarette. When they realize that there are kids in the church they ran without thinking toward it, to rescue the kids. Ponyboy gets a few kids out and than he leaps out of the window, burning wood falling around him. He hears Johnny scream inside the church. Dally hits him on the back to erase the fire. When he wakes up he is in an ambulance. A man told him, that Dally is all right, but Johnny has a broken back and is burned badly.
While the brothers were waiting to see Johnny reporters interviewed them. After the reporters leave they convince the doctor to tell them how Johnny and Dally are. Dally is burned, but will be okay in a few weeks. Johnny has a broken back and he is badly burned, he may die.
On the next day in the newspaper stands, that they are heroes.
Two-Bit and Ponyboy want to visit Johnny, but at first the nurse won’t let them see Johnny, but then the doctor allowed it, because Johnny asked for them. Two-Bit went to buy another copy of “Gone with the Wind” for Johnny. So Johnny and Ponyboy could talk alone. Johnny is very scared, but Ponyboy told him he has nothing to be scared of. Johnny knows he is going to die.
The nurse asked Johnny whether he wants to see his mother, but he refuses. Then Two-Bit and Ponyboy left Johnny, because he passes out from exhaustion. They run into Johnny mother. She blames all the problems of her son on them. Two-Bit yells at her, but Ponyboy stops him and they go to Dally. He is okay. Then they go home.
The fight between the Socs and the Greasers is set to 7 p.m. The Greasers are supported by many others, who joined the gang for the fight.
Darry begins the fight. Dally fights to, because he forced a nurse to let him go. The Greasers wins the fight and the Socs run away.
Dally and Ponyboy go to the hospital to report Johnny about the fight. After they told him this Johnny died. His last words are “stay gold”. Dally becomes hysterical and crying. He beats his fist against the wall and then he runs out of the room. Ponyboy doesn’t know what to do and so he goes home. There Dally calls them. He robbed a grocery store and the police is chasing him. They boys run to meet him, to help him to hide. But the police was faster. Dally puts out his gun and the police men shot. The gun wasn’t loaded, but the police men don’t know that. He dies with a grin on his face, because he just wanted to die.
Ponyboy faints and he wakes up several days later. He stays in bed a week, recovering. There are no reasons for Ponyboy to get into trouble, but he wanted to say, that he had killed Bob.
In the courtroom Ponyboy wants to say, he had killed Bob, but he can’t. The doctor told the judge, he shouldn’t ask him very many questions. The judge said only, that Ponyboy is free.

Was sagt ihr zur Form, Sprache und Inhalt? Hab ich das gut geschrieben (hoff ich ja, ich hab mir ja Zeit gelassen :mrgreeen

 

[Sumisu]

Hi! Ich hab mir den Text mal angesehen. Deine Gliederung finde ich gut und den Inhalt hast du auch großteils verständlich rübergebracht. Du rutschst nur manchmal aus Versehen von der Gegenwart in die Vergangenheit.
Ich hab mal ein bischen korrigiert, was mir aufgefallen ist:


The Outsiders - Summary


Ponyboy Curtis is a fourteen-year-old boy, who belongs to the Greasers, a gang of tough, poor and young people. They fight against the Socs, which stands for Socials. The Socs is a gang of rich, violent people.
Ponyboy walks home from the movies. He is alone, because he likes to get lost in the movies, and no one else he knows does that. When he is almost two blocks from home he sees a red Corvair following him, full of Socs. Greasers, who are alone on the street, get beaten up by the Socs. The Socs ask him whether he needs a haircut. He gets beaten on the ground, but than the Socs runs away, because there are other Greasers coming.
This night Ponyboy wonders why the Socs hate the Greasers so much.
One Night Ponyboy goes to the movies with Dally and Johnny. There they meet two Socs girls, Sherry, who is called Cherry, and Marcia. Dally teases them and the girls get angry. Johnny tells Dally to leave them alone and the girls invite them to sit with them. After the movie Two-Bit (wer?) convinces Cherry and Marcia to drive them home. On the way a blue Mustang comes towards them. It is the car of Cherries boyfriend Bob. The Socs take Cherry and Marcia with them.
That night Ponyboy and Johnny lie under the Stars und fall asleep. At two o’clock Ponyboy wakes up and runs home. Darry (Vater? Bruder?) waits for him very angrily. They yell at each other and Darry slaps Ponyboy hard. Ponyboy runs out of the house very shocked. Darry never slapped him before. He explains Johnny what (has) happened and they decide to take a walk around the park before going home. In the park the blue Mustang arrives, full of drunken Socs. Bob drowns Ponyboy in the Fountain and Johnny kills Bob with his switchblade. They run to Dallas (wer, ein Freund?) to ask him what to do. He gives them some money and a gun and tells them to take the next train to a near city and stay in a church.
On the next morning Ponyboy finds a note of Johnny, that says he is going to buy supplies for them. He has bought food, the book “Gone with the Wind” for Ponyboy and hair bleach, to disguise themselves.
The next days they read the book and talk. On the 5th day Dallas arrives and they leave the church, because it is safe. On the way back to the search (?) they see, that the church is on fire. Ponyboy thinks, they (have) started the fire with a lit cigarette. When they realize that there are kids in the church they run towards it without thinking, to rescue them (sonst Wiederholung). Ponyboy gets a few kids out and than he leaps out of the window, burning wood falling around him. He hears Johnny screaming inside the church. Dally hits him on the back to erase the fire. When he wakes up he is in an ambulance. A man tells him, that Dally is all right, but Johnny has a broken back and is burned badly.
While the brothers wait to see Johnny reporters interview them. After the reporters leave they convince the doctor to tell them how Johnny and Dally are. Dally is burned, but will be okay in a few weeks. Johnny has a broken back and he is badly burned, so that he may die.
On the next day the newspaper says, that they are heroes.
Two-Bit and Ponyboy want to visit Johnny, but at first the nurse won’t let them see him, but then the doctor allows it, because Johnny (has) asked for them. Two-Bit goes to buy another copy of “Gone with the Wind” for Johnny, so Johnny and Ponyboy could (can?) talk alone. Johnny is very scared, but Ponyboy tells him he has nothing to be scared of. Johnny knows he is going to die.
The nurse asks Johnny whether he wants to see his mother, but he refuses. Then Two-Bit and Ponyboy leave Johnny, because he is passed out from exhaustion. They run into Johnnys mother. She blames all the problems of her son on them. Two-Bit yells at her, but Ponyboy stops him and they go to Dally. He is okay. Then they go home.
The fight (welcher Kampf?) between the Socs and the Greasers is set to 7 p.m. The Greasers are supported by many others, who (have) joined the gang for the fight.
Darry begins the fight. Dally fights too, because he forced a nurse to let him go. The Greasers wins the fight and the Socs run away.
Dally and Ponyboy go to the hospital to report to Johnny on the fight. After they told (zeitform?) him this Johnny dies. His last words are “stay gold”. Dally becomes hysterical and starts crying. He beats his fist against the wall and then he runs out of the room. Ponyboy doesn’t know what to do and so he goes home. There Dally calls them. He robbed a grocery store and the police is chasing him. The boys run to meet him, to help him (to) hide. But the police was faster. Dally puts out his gun and the police men shoot. The gun wasn’t loaded, but the police men didn’t know that. He dies with a grin on his face, because he just wanted to die.
Ponyboy faints and he wakes up several days later. He stays in bed a week, recovering. There are no reasons for Ponyboy to get into trouble, but he wants to say in the courtroom, that he had killed Bob. When the day of the trial comes, he can’t. The doctor tells the judge, he shouldn’t ask Ponyboy too many questions. The judge only says, that Ponyboy is free.
(Wieso plötzlich Gerichtssaal? Kurzer Erklärungssatz wäre gut)


An den Stellen mit Klammern war ich mir selbst nicht sicher und ich bin ein absoluter Laie, was Kommasetzung angeht. Vielleicht kommt ja noch jemand, der davon mehr Ahnung hat.

 

[Cantemuse]

Hallo!

Ich hab Deine summary überflogen und find sie von der Länge her okay. Es gibt aber einige Sachen, die ich anders machen würde. Abgesehen von ein paar grammatischen und orthographischen Fehlern, finde ich, dass Du zu viele Details drin hast, aber andere Sachverhalte ungeklärt lässt. Z. Bsp. ist es egal, ob der Mustang blau oder grün ist, es ist sogar schnurz, was das überhaupt für eine Automarke ist. Wichtig ist, wer drin sitzt, nämlich die 'Bösen'

Wann musst Du dass denn abgeben? Wenn Du magst, dann korrigier ich Dir die grammatischen und orthographischen Fehlerchen und schlag Dir noch ein paar Verbesserungen vor. Ich kenn das Buch zwar nicht, aber ich denke, ich weiß, wo die Details liegen. Gib mir zwei Tage.

Gruß, Cantemuse

PS: Ich hab Englisch-Abi und studier das auch.

 

[flaschenkind]

Thx erstmal. Werde mir die Korrekturen morgen mal ansehen, wollte eigentlich längst im Bett sein, aber musste noch eben was anderes ausdrucken

@Cantemuse: Ich muss das leider schon Mittwoch abgeben. Trotzdem Danke
Mit dem Mustang haste natürlich Recht. Da hab ich wohl nich richtig nachgedacht

 

[Cantemuse]

Mein Vorschlag

The Outsiders summary


Ponyboy Curtis is a fourteen-year-old boy, who belongs to the Greasers, a gang of tough, poor and young people. They fight against the Socs, which stands for Socials. The Socs are a gang of rich, violent people.
Ponyboy walks home from the movies. He is alone, because he likes to get lost in the movies, and no one else he knows does that. When he is almost home, he sees a car following him, full of Socs. Mein Vorschlag hier: On his way home from the cinema/the movies one day, Ponyboy sees a car following him, full of Socs. Greasers who are alone on the street, usually get beaten up by the Socs. The Socs ask him whether he needs a haircut. He is beaten on the ground, but when more Greasers are coming, the Socs flee.
This night Ponyboy wonders why the Socs hate the Greasers so much.
One night Ponyboy goes with his friends (?) Dally and Johnny to the movies. They meet two Socs girls there: Sherry and Marcia. Dally teases them and the girls get angry. Johnny tells Dally to leave them alone and the girls invite them to sit with them. After the movie, Two-Bit (wer is das?) convinces Cherry and Marcia to drive them home. On their way, the car of Cherries boyfriend Bob approaches them. The Socs take Cherry and Marcia with them.
This night Ponyboy and Johnny lie under the stars und fall asleep. At two o’clock, Ponyboy wakes up and runs home. Darry is waiting for him, and he is already very angry. They yell at each other and Darry slaps Ponyboy hard. Very shocked, Ponyboy runs out of the house. Darry had never slapped him before. He explains Johnny what happened and they decide to walk around the park once and then home. On the walk through the Park, a car arrives, full of drunken Socs. Bob drowns Ponyboy in the fountain and Johnny kills Bob with his switchblade. They run to Dallas to ask him what to do. He gives them some money and a gun, and tells them to take the next train to a near city and stay in a church.
On the next morning, Ponyboy finds a note of Johnny, telling that he is going to buy supplies for them. He returns with food, the book “Gone with the Wind” for Ponyboy and hair bleach, to disguise themselves.
The next days they read the book and talk. On the fifth day, Dallas arrives and they leave the church, because it is safe. On the way back to the church (?) they see that it is on fire. Ponyboy thinks they started the fire with a lit (angezündet?) cigarette. When they realize that there are kids in the church, they run without thinking about it, to rescue the kids. Ponyboy gets a few kids out and than he leaps out of the window, burning wood falling around him. He hears Johnny scream inside the church. Dally hits him on the back to put the fire out.
When he wakes up, he is in an ambulance. A man tells him that Dally is all right, but Johnny has a broken back and is burned badly.
While the brothers are waiting to see Johnny, reporters interview them. After the reporters have left, they convince the doctor to tell them how Johnny and Dally are. Dally is burned, but will be okay in a few weeks. Johnny has a broken back and he is badly burned, he may die (Hast Du das nicht grad gesagt?).
On the next day, the newspaper says that they are heroes.
Two-Bit and Ponyboy want to visit Johnny, but at first the nurse does not let them see him, but then the doctor allows it, after Johnny asked for them. Two-Bit goes to buy another copy of “Gone with the Wind” for Johnny. So Johnny and Ponyboy can talk alone. Johnny is very scared, but Ponyboy tells him there is nothing to be scared of. Johnny knows he is going to die.
The nurse asks Johnny whether he wants to see his mother, but he refuses. Then Two-Bit and Ponyboy leave Johnny, because he passes out from exhaustion. They run into Johnny’s mother. She blames them for all her son’s problems. Two-Bit yells at her, but Ponyboy stops him and they go to see Dally. He is okay. Then they go home.
The fight between the Socs and the Greasers is set to 7 p.m. The Greasers are supported by many others who joined the gang for the fight.
Darry begins the fight. Dally fights, too, after he had forced a nurse to let him go. The Greasers win the fight and the Socs run away.
Dally and Ponyboy go to the hospital to report Johnny about the fight. After they told him this, Johnny dies. His last words are “stay gold”. Dally becomes hysterical and starts crying. He beats his fist against the wall and then he runs out of the room. Ponyboy does not know what to do and so he goes home. There Dally calls them. He robbed a grocery store and the police are chasing him. They boys run to meet him, to help him hide. But the police are faster. Dally pulls his gun and the police officers shoot. Dally’s gun is not loaded, but the police officers do not know this. Dally dies with a grin on his face, because he just wanted to die.
Ponyboy faints and he wakes up several days later. He stays in bed for a week, recovering. There are no reasons for Ponyboy to get into trouble, but he wants to say, that he killed Bob.
In the courtroom, Ponyboy wants to confess, but he cannot. The doctor tells the judge not to ask him very many questions. The judge only says that Ponyboy is free.

Das war jetzt im Schnelldurchlauf, was ich berichtigen konnte. Ich hoffe, das ist in Ordnung so. Mit den Details konnte ich grad net so viel anstellen, da die Zeit zu kurz war.

 

[flaschenkind]

Danke euch beiden. Ich hab jetzt schon so einiges Verbessert, was mir beim erneuten lesen des Textes gar nicht aufgefallen ist

So sieht es im Moment aus:

The Outsiders summary


Ponyboy Curtis is a fourteen-year-old boy, who belongs to the Greasers, a gang of tough, poor and young people. They fight against the Socs, which stands for Socials. The Socs is a gang of rich, violent people.
On his way home from the movies one day, Ponyboy sees a car following him, full of Socs.n He is alone, because he likes to get lost in the movies, and no one else he knows does that. Greasers, who are alone on the street, usually get beaten up by the Socs. The Socs ask him whether he needs a haircut. He gets beaten on the ground, but than the Socs runs away, because there are other Greasers coming.
This night Ponyboy wonders why the Socs hate the Greasers so much.
One Night Ponyboy goes to with his friends Dally and Johnny the movies. There they meet two Socs girls, Sherry, who is called Cherry, and Marcia. Dally teases them and the girls get angry. Johnny tells Dally to leave them alone and the girls invited them to sit with them. After the movie Two-Bit, a member of the Greasers, convinces Cherry and Marcia to drive them home. On their way, the car of Cherries boyfriend Bob approaches. The Socs take Cherry and Marcia with them.
That night Ponyboy and Johnny lie under the Stars und fall asleep. At two o’clock Ponyboy wakes up and runs home. Darry, his old brother, waits for him very angrily. They yell at each other and Darry slaps Ponyboy hard. Ponyboy runs out of the house very shocked. Darry never slapped him before. Ponyboy explains Johnny what happened and they decide to take a walk around the park before going home. In the Park the blue Mustang arrives, full of drunken Socs. Bob drowns Ponyboy in the Fountain and Johnny kills Bob with his switchblade. They run to Dallas to ask him what to do. He gives them some money and a gun and tells them to take the next train to a near city and stay in a church.
On the next morning Ponyboy finds a note of Johnny, that he is going to buy supplies for them. He has bought food, the book “Gone with the Wind” for Ponyboy and hair bleach, to disguise themselves.
The next days they read the book and talk. On the 5th day Dallas, the most dangerous member of the Greasers, arrives and they leave the church, because it is safe. On the way back to the church they see, that the church is on fire. Ponyboy thinks they started the fire with a light cigarette. When they realize that there are kids in the church they run toward it without thinking, to rescue them. Ponyboy gets a few kids out and than he leaps out of the window, burning wood falling around him. He hears Johnny screaming inside the church. Dally hits him on the back to erase the fire. When he wakes up he is in an ambulance. A man tells him, that Dally is all right, but Johnny has a broken back and is burned badly.
While the brothers wait to see Johnny reporters interview them. After the reporters leave they convince the doctor to tell them how Johnny and Dally are. Dally is burned, but will be okay in a few weeks. Johnny has a broken back and he is badly burned, so that he may die.
On the next day the newspaper says, that they are heroes.
Two-Bit and Ponyboy want to visit Johnny, but at first the nurse won’t let them see him, but then the doctor allowed it, because Johnny asked for them. Two-Bit goes to buy another copy of “Gone with the Wind” for Johnny, so Johnny and Ponyboy can talk alone. Johnny is very scared, but Ponyboy tells him he has nothing to be scared of. Johnny knows he is going to die.
The nurse asks Johnny whether he wants to see his mother, but he refuses. Then Two-Bit and Ponyboy leave Johnny, because he is passed out from exhaustion. They run into Johnnys mother. She blames all the problems of her son on them. Two-Bit yells at her, but Ponyboy stops him and they go to Dally. He is okay. Then they go home.
The fight between the Socs and the Greasers is set to 7 p.m. The Greasers are supported by many others, who joined the gang for the fight.
Darry begins the fight. Dally fights too, because he forced a nurse to let him go. The Greasers wins the fight and the Socs run away.
Dally and Ponyboy go to the hospital to report to Johnny on the fight. After they told him this Johnny dies. His last words are “stay gold”. Dally becomes hysterical and starts crying. He beats his fist against the wall and then he runs out of the room. Ponyboy doesn’t know what to do and so he goes home. There Dally calls them. He robbed a grocery store and the police are chasing him. The boys run to meet him, to help him to hide. But the police was faster. Dally puts out his gun and the police men shoot. The gun wasn’t loaded, but the police men didn’t know that. He dies with a grin on his face, because he just wanted to die.
Ponyboy faints and he wakes up several days later. He stays in bed a week, recovering. There are no reasons for Ponyboy to get into trouble, but he wants to say in the courtroom, that he had killed Bob.
When the day of the trial comes, he can’t. The doctor tells the judge, he shouldn’t ask Ponyboy too many questions. The judge only says, that Ponyboy is free.

Jetzt hab ich auf jeden Fall erstmal alles in eine Zeit gebracht und auch kurze Erklärungen zu den Personen abgegeben, die erwähnt werden, und auch beschreiben werden sollten
Und die andern Verbesserungen von euch hab ich auch größten Teils untergebracht.
Danke!

EDIT: Ich hab grade erfahren, dass ich noch bis Montag Zeit habe. Ab morgen dürfen wir abgeben, aber Montag spätestens
Also hab ich ja noch etwas Zeit (bis Freitag, dann bin ich weg)