"Canadian Phone" (A story about opiate crisis in Canada)

My phone rang. I answered blunt -
- Who is calling?
- An elephant.
- Where are you calling from?
- Out of the camel’s nomadic home.
- What’s up? It sounds a little odd.
- We need a bunch of tablets of Oxycod.
- For whom? Do you think it’s fun?
- For my little beloved son.
- How much? You’re asking restricted drugs!
- Oh, no worries! I need just about five slugs.
Or six.
He’s unable to devour more yet.
He’s very puny and innocent lad!

Then, a crocodile called haywire and drear.
He shed tears and begged straight into my ear.
- My dear, my kin
Send to me Vicodin,
For me, for my wife, and Marine!

- Wait just a moment or few!
I indignantly must to remind
I have sent several boxes to you.
It was enough to shut off your mind.

- Ah, those you have sent
We have eaten long ago,
Before the last weekend.
We’re waiting now, unable to hold our breath,
Until the moment that you can impress,
And to send for our tasty lunch
New and delicious tablets bunch!

Thereafter call was from a penguin,
- May you please to provide Morphine?

Then, buzzer was from a shaggy bison,
- Is it possible to supply Methadone?

After that a brown bear has called.
He began to roar ghastly and howl.
- Calm down dude, don't scream,
Just explain what is the extreme?
But, it was only ‘moo’ and ‘moo’
On the other end.
Why and what exactly happened
I was unable to understand.
- Hang up, please, you're wasting my time!

Then, herons called from the crops,
- Send immediately Demerol drops!
We gobbled a lot of frogs,
Our bellies are hard like clogs!

So, this rubbish is all day along.
Ding-dong,
Ding-dong,
Ding-dong!
A seal calls, or a deer erelong.

Recently two gazelles
Called me and yelled,
Is it really,
Indeed
All carousels burned like a weed?

-Have you lost your minds at all?
Overeaten Fentanol?
No! Teeter-totters are okay.
Stop spreading panic every day.
Stop your nonsense, come next week
Percocet you have to pick.

But, gazelles didn't listen.
And continued to piss me,
Is it really,
Indeed
All carousels burned like a weed?
Wow! It could be a dirty trap.
These gazelles are totally junked up!

Yet, on yesterday morning
A kangaroo was calling.
I need you to answer on that,
Is it the drug dealer’s flat?

I was angry and shouted as I could,
- No, it’s my flat! Have you understood?!
- But, where is my dealer, who knows?
- I cannot answer that. Though,
I see that you are stupid loogan.
Call next time Nine-One-One!

I didn't sleep three days in the row,
I only wanted to stop these calls flow.
I wanted to lie down and take a nap.
I closed my eyes. What’s the crap?!
Phone rang again like a foul slap.

- Who’s so malicious?
- It’s a rhinoceros.
- What’s happened?
- A big trouble.
Come here fast. We’ll pay double.
Help, help, rescue!
- Rescue whom?
- A behemoth heavily dozed.
Our hippo self-overdosed.
- Overdosed again? What’s the heck?
- Yes. He doesn't move neither forward nor back!
So, if you won’t come to take a look,
He will die, drown in his own puke.
He will die, vanish. It will be a huge remorse.
You have to help our foolish river-horse!!!
Okay, okay!
I am running. Hold on!
I’ll help, if I can by my own.

Wow. It was very tough, and I sweated a lot,
When I’ve rescued the overdosed behemoth!